Magic: The Gathering Cards

Subject: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:15 pm

Friction01 Planeswalker - Racist

Cost: 2 Black 2 White
Life: 3

+2 Sigh forcefully.
0 Your currently-running programs are now unique instances of Minecraft.
-4 Rage for days.
-10 For the rest of the game, your creatures have Physics.

"Frickin stupid teammates!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:16 pm

TheRambizzle Planeswalker - Cheeky Little Bugger

Cost: 3 Mana, 1 Red
Life: 8

+1 Thunderwave.
-1 Invite your own teamdizzle.
-5 Visualize everything.

"Point Break or Bad Boys 2?"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:18 pm

Izendale Planeswalker - Balls of Steel

Cost: 5 mana
Life: 1

+3 Invent YouTube.
-3 For the last time, you are not Japanese.
-8 Play Kog'Maw.

".... TV Tropes!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:21 pm

Juiceh3x Planeswalker - Resident Troll

Cost: 4 Blue
Life: 4

+1 Indicate your respect for a fellow troll.
0 Make Zack mad.
-7 All enemy players suddenly have to leave.

"He plays AD Ziggs - he must be pro."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:22 pm

Morgana Creature - Dark Angel

Cost: 2 Mana, 2 Black
3/1

You may not actually play this card because it is always banned.

"Ban morg. Ban. Ban her. Ban ban ban ban ban."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:24 pm

Nunu Creature - Yeti Rider

Cost: 1 Mana, 1 Green
2/2

Actions and enchantments effecting Nunu only take effect when he is alone.

"WHY NUNU! WHYYYY!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:32 pm

Dr. Mundo Creature - Learned Doctor

Cost: 3 Green
1/5

Do what you pleases.

"Oh Mundo! You're so big and strong!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:34 pm

Garen Creature - Whirling Bag of Meat

Cost: 1 Mana, 1 White
5/5

Garen loses 1/1 every turn, eventually becoming utterly useless.

"I'm so dizzy ... I gotta sit down. Oh man I'm gonna be sick."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:36 pm

Moster Yi Creature - Baddest Video Game Character of Ool Time

Cost: 2 Mana, 1 White
3/1

Buy Wriggles Lantern. If you do not buy this item, uninstall the game.

"There are also runes and mostery payges - but you don't need them."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:39 pm

Brolaf Creature - Viking Bro

Cost: 3 Beers
2/3

Brolaf has your back, bro.

Cool story.

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:48 pm

Miss Fortune Creature - Miss Fanservice

The principles of anatomy do not apply to you. Just make up your own dang stats.

"You've got an enormous ... hand. I like that."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:51 pm

Nocturne Instant

Cost: 1 Mana, 1 Black

Turn off all the lights. Kick your opponent in the nards.

"Ohhhhh balls ... ohballsohballsohballs!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:52 pm

Soraka Artifact - Goat Lady

Cost: 3 Mana

When Soraka comes into play, target a card. As long as Soraka is alive, the target cannot be destroyed.

"Gracefully my ass."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:55 pm

Annie Creature - Rage Inducer

Cost: 3 Mana, 2 Red
1/1

Show them your 8/8 Bear Tibbers.

"I want to kill everybody in the world."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:57 pm

Shaco Creature - Fricking Shaco

Cost: 3 Mana, 1 Blue
2/1

You may play Shaco onto a battlefield from your hand, and return him to your hand whenever you like.

"Don't look yet! I'm not ready!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:40 pm

Taric Creature - Truly Outrageous

Cost: 1 Mana, 1 White
1/2

Tap: Marry Edward Cullen since you love him so much.

Taric is excitement! Taric is adventure! Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame! Taric is his name, no one else is the same, Taric is his name!

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:21 pm

Teemo Enchantment - Annoying

Cost: 2 Mana, 1 Green

Whenever enemy creatures move anywhere, they get a face full of shroom and take 3 damage.

"DAH! The scout's code again!"

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:32 pm

Phreak Planeswalker - Face of Riot

Cost: 2 Green, 1 White
Life: 5

+2 Instalock jungle Lulu.
0 Jungle on Twisted Treeline.
-4 Backdoor their nexus on Crystal Scar.
-8 Cover the thinking behind some of the major changes going into the upcoming patch.

"TONS OF DAMAGE."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:36 pm

Morello Instant

1 Blue

Nerf Irelia. Buff Teemo.

"I don't have a lot of details to give right now. Youmuu's is underrated you ungrateful schmucks."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:41 pm

Nikasaur Artifact - Babysitter

2 Mana.

All creatures with less than 3 force feel affirmed, enlightened, entertained, and horny.

"You're a very clever summoner. Unfortunately my fiance has better ELO."

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:49 pm

Tamat Insant - Riot Sorcery

1 Red

Buy all the Pantheon skins.

"Thank you for your patience. Also, fuck you."

Angry and Bitter Posts : 297 Join date : 2012-03-06

1/0 Power/Toughness for annie means she dies as soon as she enters the field...

Angry and Bitter Posts : 297 Join date : 2012-03-06

How do you have an enchantment with 3 Power 1 toughness...

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:29 pm

Why? Why are you like this?

Subject: Re: Magic: The Gathering Cards Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:30 pm

All that, and THAT'S what was technically wrong with it? Screw you man!